Boatload of Wine

by Ian H Bruce (2007)







Boatload of wine, that’ll be fine,
Keep me afloat ’til October
I must bid you adieu with a glass and corkscrew
I don’t want to stay home and be sober.

Floating along, all the day long
Just stopping at locks full of slime
When it’s time for a brew, between me and you
Then I’ll open a bottle of wine.

The rains pouring down, it feels like I might drown
From steering I think I’ll resign
But I’ll not complain, nor will I abstain
If opening a bottle of wine

At the narrow bridge hole, you need self-control
For on-coming boats number nine
As they push their way through, the air turns to blue
So I open a bottle of wine

Toilet’s full to the brim, emptying it’s grim
I’ll go for a pump-out next time
I’ve no Elsan Blue, and the loo smells of ...
So I’ll open a bottle of wine

The boat comes to a halt, it seems like a fault
As rope and propeller entwine
Been down the weed hatch, now I’m dirty and scratched
So I’ll open a bottle of wine.

Now the engine won’t start, it needs a new part
It looks like the end of the end of the line
Should I polish the brass? No, I'll get out a glass
And I'll open a bottle of wine
Inspired by two fellow boating club members who set out on the annual cruise with a boat containing more red wine than red diesel. They returned with more red diesel than red wine!